Sunday, July 24, 2011

Along the lines of my last post...mothering an almost grown- up

In my last post I was thinking generally about parenting(mothering) a teenage guy. Today I am thinking more specifically along the same lines.
As a mom I am by nature, nurturing...duh, right? We are the care givers, keepers of the calenders, organizers, lost shoe finders, etc.
At some point and in certain situations we have to give up this role as our kids grow older.
This very morning (and yesterday, and last evening) I found myself in conflict with my son. I was quite perturbed.Time management is an area that I , to be honest, have kind of micro managed in his life. When left without guidence in this area ( to my dismay) the result was not good to say the least. Bags that should have been packed were not, shopping that needed to be done wasn't, cash wasn't obtained from the ATM.....chaos ensued.
I thought what I always tend to think..."I should have done it myself" or "I should have stayed on him about this stuff". These are two courses of action that would have proved very counter productive. Had I done it for him it could allow slothful behavior to develope. If I would have told him each thing he needed to do, he would have accused me of nagging. (probably only in his heart). His verbal response would have been a slightly adgetated " I'll do it!".
This is the time in life when young people need to experience the natural consequences of their actions. If we can bite our tongues and swallow our pride (how is it going to reflect on me when my son is the only one not prepared), our children can then learn from their own mistakes and we have way less stress in the process.
I pray that I will have the wisdom to know when to just let go and allow him, on his own, to succeed (or at times fail) and when to step in and give the right amount of guidence to help him grow an not hinder the very process I am trying to promote.

Friday, July 22, 2011

I find myself in an interesting place as a parent with my son who graduated from highschool this year.He is a wonderful young man who rarely gives me any problems. My issue isn't with him, it is with me. Knowing how tightly or lightly to hold on as a mom (single mom) is hard to discern at times. I know that he must have freedom to grow and become the man God wants him to be but at the same time he still needs guidance. Ken gave a great analogy in a message a couple of weeks ago in his sermon on parenting. 'Kids are like a bar of wet soap. If you hold too tight they shoot out of your hand and too loose they fall out of your hand. I get that. I am just unsure at times what that looks like in various situations. I have a great relationship with my son, so fortunately, he usually gives me fairly good clues. I can just feel a tension when I am too "in his buisness" and I can usually sense frustration when he needs help. I think much of it has to do with the way I approach the situation. Speaking to our sort of grown kids(especially to our young men) as adults and listening is the key. When I fail in this there is trouble. I will say that God certainly uses this to sanctify!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I decided to begin a blog because, to be honest I haven't found anything to really encourage a woman in the season of life that I find myself in(hence the title). I am first of all a Christian but also a divorced woman pushing 50 years of age. I have grown daughters and a nearly grown son. I am in a very strange (to me) time in my life. It is also an amazing time of growth and dependency on the Lord. I hope to encourage and be encouraged to live in my circumstances a life that is pleasing to the Lord.